


seems i always end up driving by

by lco123



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 13:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6286453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lco123/pseuds/lco123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 6x20.  Spencer is reeling from her break-up with Caleb, and finds comfort where she least expects it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	seems i always end up driving by

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not abandoning "pack up all my cares and woe," just finding it a little hard to work on in the wake of the finale. I kept thinking about Mona's cute little thumbs-up to Spencer in 6x20, and that turned into another finale coda. Something of a companion piece to "rewrite an ending or two." Spoilers for 6x20. Title from "Chances Are" (the version I know is by Vonda Shepard and Robert Downey, Jr., though that's not the original).

When he didn’t say “I love you” back, Spencer was able to rationalize, at least on the surface, that Caleb was tired and distracted.  But inside, part of her knew.  Truly, she had known since the previous afternoon.  Coming back to the barn to find Hanna and Caleb standing there guiltily—well, it was something out of her worst nightmare.  And even if what they had to reveal was not what she’d feared (was instead a pretty fucked-up trick, if you ask Spencer), it was the beginning of the end.

When they find Hanna eight miles west of Rosewood, Spencer is so glad to see her.  But then she looks at Caleb’s face, notes the tears threatening to fall from his eyes, and she feels like sobbing.  This was always going to end with one of them hurt.  She was a fool to think otherwise, was so stupid to let her heart and her lust dictate her decisions, rather than looking at this logically.  Well, better for her to be the one hurt in the long run, she supposes.

Ezra calls an ambulance and Caleb doesn’t hesitate before hopping in alongside Hanna.  Part of Spencer wants to go with, but then she thinks of Hanna waking up and the three of them being stuck there together.  Spencer doesn’t want to see the look on Hanna’s face when she sees Caleb, anymore than she imagines Hanna would want to see her holding Caleb’s hand.

So she lets Toby drive her home alone, not speaking because she’s afraid she’ll snap at him if she does.  Poor Toby.  He should be comforting Yvonne right now, not taking care of Spencer.  But he’s always there to clean up her mess.

Once back at the barn Spencer undresses quickly, the tight dress starting to feel more like a straightjacket.  She changes into sweats, pours a glass of red wine, and huddles up near the fireplace, phone in hand.  An hour or so later Caleb calls.  Spencer answers on the first ring.  “Hey,” she says, trying to sound both light and concerned.

“Hey,” he replies gruffly.  “Hanna’s doing okay.  The doctor says she has a broken arm and a concussion.”  Spencer exhales at that, glad for the news.  “I’m sorry I just jumped in the ambulance like that.  And I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier.”

“It’s okay,” Spencer says, despite still feeling hurt.

Caleb sighs.  “Look, Spence, we need to talk.  Not on the phone but—”

“Is this about Hanna?” she cuts in.  There’s not much inflection to her question; Spencer isn’t an idiot.  Of course it’s about Hanna.

“I really want to talk in person.  When I get home, okay?”  Caleb sounds tired, like he’s been crying.  Spencer is at once hurt for him and angry.

“Caleb, if something happened between you two—or if something is about to happen—please just tell me.  Let’s not draw it out.”  The words would sound more diplomatic if Spencer’s voice wasn’t shaking.

There’s a long silence from Caleb.  Spencer’s eyes are wide, staring unblinkingly at the flames from the fire.  She remembers their first night together, how warm she felt when he kissed her.  Now her entire body feels frozen. 

It seems like an eternity passes before Caleb admits, “We kissed.  Earlier tonight.  I’m so sorry.  I don’t know what it meant.”

Spencer closes her eyes.  They’re heavy with unshed tears.  “Okay,” she murmurs.  “You should go.  You should be with Hanna.”  She’s not sure which way she means it.  Perhaps every way.  Perhaps the happy ending was never meant to be hers.

 

Spencer goes to The Radley the next night, needing to get out of the barn.  In the short time she and Caleb have been together, the space they shared already feels like a lightening rod of memories.  She can’t look anywhere without getting shocked.

Caleb didn’t come back the previous night, though Spencer’s not surprised.  He called her again, leaving a message rehashing his apology.  Spencer hasn’t called him back, because she doesn’t know what to say.

She’s nursing a Scotch, neat—a drink that always seems to bring her father comfort in times of stress—when a familiar voice from down the bar calls her name.  _Shit_.  Spencer turns to her right.  “Hi Mona,” she says lowly.

Mona is all smiles as she makes her way over to Spencer.  “Hello Spencer.  Drinking alone tonight?”  She gestures to Spencer’s drink with her own Cosmopolitan, that infuriating little smirk firmly in place.

“Yeah, well, didn’t think I’d be very fun company tonight,” Spencer remarks dryly, taking a sip of her Scotch.

Mona gives her an inquisitive look.  “And why might that be?” she asks.

Spencer scowls.  “You know, you’re here alone too, Mona.  Don’t you have any friends to drink with?”  Her voice sounds so raw and bitter that Spencer nearly shoots Mona a look of apology, before thinking better of it.

Mona stiffens.  “And here I thought I _was_ drinking with a friend,” she replies sadly.  It drives Spencer crazy, the way Mona’s been behaving lately.  The apparent sincerity feels like a trap, like at any moment Mona’s going to bring down the hammer and Spencer will end up in jail or in the sanitarium.  Or with a broken heart.

Too late for that.  “Why are you following me around?” Spencer asks.  “Getting me that info about my mom, showing up to help with the campaign?  What’s your game here?”

Mona sighs with a bit of annoyance.  “I keep telling you there is no game.  Couldn’t you believe for just a second that I’m being genuine?  That maybe I actually like you?”  Her voice gets quieter.  “We’re not all that different, you and I.”

“Yes, we are,” Spencer insists, but there’s not much fight left in her.  As much as it pains her to admit it, Mona is right.  They really aren’t so different, after all.  Both too smart and stubborn for their own good, both fueled by the toxic pursuit of a mystery.  But it feels like ever since she returned to Rosewood, Mona’s been around every corner.  Not like a stalker, exactly, but like…like a puppy.  “Do you have a crush on me, or something?” Spencer asks with a low chuckle.

When Mona doesn’t reply, Spencer turns to look at her.  Mona is raising her eyebrows, mouth in a shy little smile.  “You got me,” she says with a half-shrug.

Spencer narrows her eyes.  “I was joking.”

Mona stands up and pulls a few bills out of her wallet.  It’s more than enough to cover the cost of both drinks.  She looks at Spencer, smirk firmly back in place now.  “Well, I’m not,” she replies, before producing a business card and handing it to Spencer.  “See you around, Spence.”

 

Five days later, and Spencer can’t get Mona’s annoying little smirk out of her head.  Caleb is firmly out of the picture, and she only knows how Hanna’s doing from Emily.  The mystery of Rollins was something to focus intently on, a worrisome but pleasant distraction, but now Ali’s home with Emily, and Spencer is left alone.  Every time she walks by the coffee table Mona’s business card seems to stare at her from the spot where she left it.  Finally, she’s had enough and gives her a call.

It’s not that Spencer is attracted to Mona.  Okay, yes, Mona is undeniably very pretty, and Spencer admitted to herself a few years back that she’s not 100% straight.  The fact that she’s a woman isn’t an issue, it’s the fact that she’s _Mona_.  Bitch crazy.

But Spencer is feeling pretty low right now, her last romantic prospect ending so recently and so crushingly, and maybe her ego needs a little stroking.  Or she’s just curious.  Mona’s an interesting conversationalist.  

But Spencer is definitely not attracted to her.

They meet for a drink at The Radley again, where Mona is staying.  “Is this a ploy to get me upstairs?” Spencer asks sardonically once they’ve ordered.

Mona puts a hand to her heart as though she’s scandalized.  “Why, the thought never occurred to me!” she says breathily, but then she winks.  “So, may I ask what’s going on with you and Caleb?”

Spencer knew it was coming, but still feels a little sick as she says, “Nothing is going on with us, right now.  He’s—” she pauses, considering a fib, but then realizes Mona would almost certainly find out the truth anyway.  “He’s back with Hanna, I think.”

Mona’s eyes widen.  “Hanna broke off the engagement?”  She sounds a little too excited, and it’s not lost on Spencer.

“That seems to pique your interest,” she observes.

Mona exhales and shakes her head.  “Not so much anymore.  Not the way it once would have.”

Spencer frowns.  Mona looks so sad, so lonely.  Spencer can’t help but feel a pang for her.  “Did you ever tell her?  I mean, straightforwardly?”

Mona doesn’t have to ask what she means.  Spencer’s known that Mona was in love with Hanna for years.  Caleb knew too, she’s pretty sure.  She thinks Hanna might be the only one who didn’t realize it fully.  “Never in the way I’d planned to."  She knits her hands together on top of the table.  "It doesn’t matter now.”

Spencer breaks into a sudden laugh then, and when Mona gives her a questioning look she explains, “It’s just, Hanna and Caleb are back together—or they’re back to something, at least—and here you and I are…”

“On a date?” Mona supplies.  They haven’t put a name to it yet, but Spencer nods.  Yes, she’ll admit, this is a date.  “I’ve wanted this for a while, Spencer.”

Spencer grows serious again, feeling a bit uncomfortable.  “Why?” she asks, both dreading and craving the answer.

Mona does that half-shrug thing again and pushes some hair behind her ear.  “You’re Spencer fucking Hastings.  Anyone who doesn’t want you is an idiot.  And say what you will about me, but I’m not an idiot.”  She lets her sweater slip a little, revealing a sliver of shoulder, and okay:  Spencer has to admit that the whole effect is pretty damn hot.

She doesn’t care if it’s a manipulation, even though in this moment she’s pretty certain it isn’t.  Spencer just wants to feel warm again, and right now Mona is like a fire.  “Can we go to your room?” she asks lowly.

Mona grins widely and wordlessly takes Spencer’s hand, casually dropping some money on the table.  She pulls Spencer close in the elevator, hands around Spencer’s waist.  “Are you sure you want to do this?” she whispers.

Spencer wraps her arms around Mona’s neck.  The height difference should make this awkward, but somehow Mona fits perfectly against her.  “I still don’t totally trust you,” she says in response.

Mona tilts her head to one side.  “You don’t totally trust _yourself_ ,” she comments.  

Spencer smiles at that.  Mona’s right.  “Yeah, I want to do this,” she replies as the elevator doors open.  Mona presses a surprisingly tender kiss to her palm, and intertwines their fingers.  They walk down the hall together, feet in-sync, and Spencer thinks that this, right here, might be exactly where she belongs.


End file.
